The Crazy Club
by Song Of Hope
Summary: A new student ends up in the Host Club while trying to find the Classical Music Club. After a repeat of what happened to Haruhi, Makoto Kiyono is forced to be a part of the Host Club. Having just come from America with an extremely insane and horrible family situation, how will Makoto cope with this club of crazy people?


**Song Of Hope: before anyone complains, THE OC I HAVE IN THIS STORY IS NOT A 1 FANDOM ONLY OC! THEY ARE MY "I'LL PUT HER IN WHATEVER FANDOM I DANG WELL PLEASE" OC! Okay, now that that's out of the way, please enjoy the story! R&R**

A boy with brown hair in a very low ponytail and hazel eyes was walking through the hallways of Ouran High School Academy. They were wearing, instead of the normal uniform for a boy, a dark green hoodie and baggy blue jeans, and around his neck was a ball chain with a strange looking pendant on it. He had a clarinet case, with the handle on his elbow, and in his right hand a bag of carrots that he was munching on.

"Stupid school. Where's Music Room 2?" He went up a staircase and smiled. "Ah, there it is." He opened up the door, and rose petals fluttered out.

"Welcome to the Host Club."

**Theme Song Interlude**

The guy was shocked. He ended up dropping is bag of carrots on the floor, and a big arrow started pointing at them.

"What the hell? This is a music room, isn't it? Music Room 2!" A blonde guy started laughing.

"My good sir, you seem to be mistaken. This is Music Room 3, run by me, Tamaki Suou. This is where we entertain bored young girls, and boys, if that's the case, and you do seem to be very bored. As Hosts, it is our job to entertain and help anyone who comes through those doors." A small boy that looked to be in 5th Grade ran up to him. He was blonde and had big, brown eyes, and he was holding a pink bunny.

"Hi mister! I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but everybody calls me Honey! The really tall guy over there is my good friend Takashi Morinozuka!" He looked confused.

"Mister? But I'm-" The blonde guy cut him off.

"I know, it's hard to accept formalities!" A black haired-boy in glasses walked up.

"Excuse me, but what's your name?"

"Ho-" suddenly, he stopped and looked really sad. He sighed and started again. "I'm Makoto. Makoto Kiyono." Kyoya nodded.

"I see. Well as you probably already know, I'm Kyoya Otori. You're that new 2nd Year in our class, right?" Makoto nodded.

"Yeah, I got here at the beginning of the week. Can I please go now?" He started walking away. A pair of twin went right in front of the door, getting in his way.

"Why would you want to go?"

"The Host Club is a lot of fun." He started getting mad.

"I have clarinet practice to do! I need to find the Classical Music Club!" They got in his face.

"How can they be more fun than hanging out with us, Hikaru and Kaoru, the Hitachiin Brothers? That club just makes us sleepy!" A boy with short brown hair and big brown eyes, almost feminine, stood up.

"Guys, cut it out." He walked up to Makoto. "Sorry about them. They're all crazy. I'm Haruhi Fujioka." The arrow was still on the carrots as he walked backwards.

"Can you guys just leave me alone?!" Suddenly, he stepped on the carrot. It was rolling as he tried to regain his balance. He ultimately failed and fell, sliding across the room until he hit a table with a tea set and a vase on it. It all flew up in the air, but none of it actually hit him. Instead, it just shattered in pieces around him, and the table was majorly damaged, as well as the chairs around it. Kyoya looked over.

"You seem to have destroyed our table, as well as the chairs, the tea set, and the vase." He wrote all of it down. "That being said, every single one of those items were very expensive antiques. We haven't lost much in assets, but monetarily, we've lost quite a bit due to this." Haruhi sighed.

"Oh no, not again!" Kyoya totaled it.

"Let's see, the table was worth 2,370,480Yen, you destroyed two sets of 487,560 Yen chairs, which together equals 975,120 Yen, the tea set was worth 113,424 Yen, and the vase you destroyed was an antique, one of a kind Chinese vase, and that on its own was 25,500,000 Yen, so added together, you've destroyed a total of 26,825,592, or about 27 Million Yen's worth of antiques." His eyes widened.

"27 Million Yen?" He stopped. "How much is that in US currency?" Everyone else looked confused, but Kyoya just smiled.

"That would be $262,699.82 approximately, not going off on any other decimals, since US currency only goes to two decimal places." He was in shock.

"I broke that much?!" He tried to calm down. "No worries, I'll just call my aunt!" He got a phone out of his pocket and called someone. "Hello? Yeah, hey Aunt Jane, listen, I was trying to find Music Room 2, walked into 3 with these weirdos, and long story short, I ended up accidentally breaking some stuff. Can you please pay it back?" Some noises were heard on the other line. "How much? Um, uh, about 27 million Yen's worth." There was silence, and suddenly, an explosion on the other end. "But Aunt Jane, it was an accident! I didn't do any of it on purpose! What?! You're not going to pay it?! But how?! A job?! That's impossible! No job would pay that much money to replace that much stuff!" There was more yelling on the other end. "Look, I didn't even want to be in here! I didn't even want to go to this school! You made me come here, you and your stupid husband! No, I don't care! I'll insult him if I want! He's stupid and doesn't deserve anything that he has! I'm hanging up now! BYE!" He angrily shut his phone, steamed. Kyoya lightly cough. He turned to Kyoya, looking like the devil. "What?!"

"There's still the terms of your repaying your debt." Haruhi gave him a desperate look.

"Get out of here, while you can!" Hikaru and Kaoru blocked the door. They both had evil glints in their eyes.

"No way are you escaping. You've got to face the punishment for your crimes." He got into a fighting stance his eyes narrowed and angry.

"Don't get in my way!" Kyoya walked over.

"Regardless of how you feel, you still owe us a debt, and you need to pay it back." He held up a student handbook. "According to the handbook, all debts to the school and to club activities must be paid in full by all students, or else a fine will go to the parents and the student will be expelled." Makoto glared at him.

"What do I care? I didn't even want to go to school here in the first place!" Honey looked at him.

"Is that why you don't wear the school uniform?" He shook his head.

"I just don't like what the school forces me to wear, so I wear this. Besides, hoodies and pants are more comfortable than anything else." Tamaki laughed.

"All this chitter chatter is trying to distract from the real truth of the matter. You have a debt that you need to repay. Of course, the school year is ending, and you won't be able to repay it all in that time, so, you're going to have to pay off a little bit now, and the rest over the next school year. Whatever you manage to repay in that time is what we'll submit to the school as what you owe, and then at the beginning of next year, we'll submit the rest of what you owe us as the amount that is due." His eye started twitching.

"You've got to be kidding me." Tamaki shook his head.

"Not at all. For the time being, you'll pay us off with your body!" His eyes widened and he started blushing, looking angry.

"What kind of a place is this?! I have some form of self-respect you know, probably more than what any of you have! There's no way I'll agree to something like that!" Haruhi looked confused at his response, until it clicked in her mind. Tamaki laughed.

"Oh, my dear Makoto, you're not doing anything like that. You will be taking care of the errands, making the tea, and cleaning up. You will be our errand boy!" He glared at him.

"But I'm a-" Tamaki cut him off.

"No excuses! You're our dog! Now," he turned to Kyoya, "is Makoto a Commoner on a scholarship like Haruhi or like us?" Kyoya pushed up his glasses.

"Technically, he is like us, but only by adoption. His 'parents' are Jane and Hirohito Kiyono, but his real parents live in America and they are Commoners." Makoto got mad.

"How do you know any of that?!" Kyoya's glasses glinted.

"I make it my business to know everyone in the school for the benefit of the Host Club. With that, I also know all about your uncle's business, and the Otori Group, my father's company, does a lot of work with your uncle and we can do a lot of damage is we stop associating with them." Makoto folded his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes.

"I don't care about my uncle. Make him poor for all I care. I hate the guy." Hikaru and Kaoru looked at each other.

"Wow, he's cold." Kaoru nodded.

"Cold as ice." He stated getting mad.

"I'm a-!" Haruhi cut him off.

"Look, it's better if you don't argue and just agree to work as an errand boy. If your aunt won't pay for it, this is the only way. Trust me, it'll be fun!" Makoto narrowed his eyes.

"Why should I trust a girl who's pretending to be a boy?" They were all shocked, Tamaki the most of all.

"How did you realize my darling little girl was a girl?!" Makoto laughed.

"It's obvious to anyone who's actually smart." He glared at Kyoya. "Now, you've threatened my education, didn't work, you threatened my uncle, still not working, what's left?" Kyoya's glasses glinted.

"You want to go home, right?" He gasped a tiny bit in shock. "If you agree to pay off your debt, and work for a small amount of time longer, then I'll arrange something for you." He looked down at the ground, defeated.

"Fine, I'll work as an errand person."

**The Next Day**

Makoto came from his class to the Host Club. Tamaki smiled at him.

"Hello there dog!" Makoto looked about ready to punch someone.

"I'm not a dog! I'm a person!" Tamaki laughed.

"Not until you pay off your debt. So, where'd you run off to right after class? Certainly not here."

"Does it matter? I'm my own person." Tamaki struck a dramatic finger-pointing pose.

"It does matter! But nonetheless, you are needed to go to the store and get some Instant Coffee from the supermarket!" Makoto's eyebrow twitched.

"That's it?" Tamaki nodded, pushing him out the door with a map and some cash.

"Yes! Now, here's a map!"

**Later**

Makoto sighed as he came back in, holding grocery bags filled with instant coffee.

"These people are complete idiots." He looked in the bag. "I can't believe I got put somewhere so stupid." He walked in, and the Host Club had a bunch of guests. Tamaki was entertaining a girl with too much lipstick.

"Oh Tamaki, I wish I could stay!" Tamaki grabbed her chin gently and brought it up to his face.

"My dear, even if you can't stay here with me physically, I hope to always stay with you, in your heart." She blushed and giggled. Makoto looked bewildered.

"Are the girls here really that stupid?" Kyoya came and took the bag from him.

"No, Tamaki simply knows how to pull at their hearts. Of course, they realize that he does this with a lot of girls, but to them it's entertaining, and he makes sure to never go too far." He looked over at the Hitachiin brothers. "Take, for example, them. They're the mischievous ones, or the Little Devil Type. More than that, they are twins, identical twins, and a lot of girls have fantasies about that, and boys do as well. Not to mention, the fact that they're related and that their feelings are considered a taboo makes them much more alluring."

"Even though it's obvious to anyone who's smart that it's all fake." Kyoya smiled behind his glasses.

"Yes, I suppose it would be obvious." He turned his gaze to Haruhi. "Now, Haruhi is the 'Natural' Type. This type goes with any and all types of girls, but for the most parts, it's the deeper girls who want a meaningful relationship that Haruhi attracts."

"Because she's a girl."

"Well, that's why she's so good at knowing what the customers want." He then glanced towards honey and Mori. "Honey-senpai is the Boy Lolita, or a boy that looks young and cute. Due to the fact that he loves cute things, as well as sweets, makes him adorable. Then there's Mori-sempai. Mori-senpai is the Strong and Silent Type, who doesn't speak much, but is highly dependable."

"Silence just creeps me out."

"Well, some people would be scared by that. There's myself, the Cool Type, but I rarely get requested, mainly because I'm usually dealing with finances and other things a majority of the time." He looked at Tamaki, a sort of respect in his gaze. "And then, there's Tamaki. He's the king here, and the president of the club. He is the Princely Type. He has a regale approach and a strong sense of dignity and honor, as well as chivalry that makes him want to help everyone around him." Makoto glared at Kyoya.

"Great lessons on the hierarchy of this stupid club. Can I go now? I'd rather not deal with idiots like you." Honey ran up to her, holding his bunny.

"Mako-chan! Would you come and eat some sweets with me?!" He looked down at Honey, and he seemed to be unable to resist his cuteness.

"Fine, I'll eat some sweets." Honey smiled.

"Yay! Let's go then!" He grabbed his arm and dragged him to he table, and in doing so realized something, but ignored it. He sat him down next to himself, across from Mori. "Hey guys, this is Mako-chan! He's going to eat with us!" The girls were excited.

"Oh, you are?"

"Why are you dressed like that? Are you a Commoner too?"

"Do you just really like the color green?" He focused on only one thing.

"What the hell is a Commoner? Is that another one of those weird Japanese things?" They giggled, blushing.

"Oh, he's so cute, he doesn't even know what a Commoner is!"

"Is he a foreigner? His accent isn't Japanese at all!" He looked really annoyed.

"Um, I'm American." They started going crazy.

"Oh, an American! How exotic!"

"I've never been to America! Is New York really all that special?"

"How's the Grand Canyon?!"

"I want to go to LA! What's it like?!" He started getting really annoyed.

"I'm from the Midwest! I've never been to any of those places in my entire life!" Honey looked at him with big eyes.

"It's okay. I'm sorry you've never been to those places." Makoto smiled at Honey.

"Well, you're not so bad." He rubbed Honey's head. The girls went crazy.

"He's so sweet to Honey-senpai!" Makoto looked more confused.

"What's a senpai?" They were silent for a few seconds, and then fussed even more.

"Oh my gosh, he's so adorable! He doesn't even know what a sempai is!"

"I bet he doesn't know the difference between san and chan! How foreign and adorable!" He started getting annoyed.

"Oh great, now they think I'm adorable." He reached to the back of his head. "My hair's getting too loose." He started pulling on it, tightening the ponytail until the band snapped, making his hair go around his head. Mori wasn't looking until he saw that. He blushed at a realization. Makoto quickly grabbed his hair and started pulling it back. "Dammit!" The girls started giggling.

"You're so cute with your hair down!"

"Yeah, super cute!" Makoto got mad as he grabbed a ponytail holder from his pockets and put it in his hair.

"I'm a-"

"MAKOTO!" He cringed as he turned, looking at Tamaki.

"What is it?" Tamaki gave him a charming smile.

"Would you be a dear and get some more coffee?" He got really mad.

"I'M NOT GOING ALL THE WAY OVER TO THE SUPERMARKET WHEN I JUST GOT BACK!" Tamaki looked scared.

"Take it easy. I meant from the storage room, not go all the way back there." Makoto grumbled as he went to the storage room.

"Stupid rich people. Why'd they have to use expensive antique everything? Why couldn't they get normal stuff that isn't so expensive to replace?" Tamaki called over the twins.

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" They came over to him.

"Yeah boss?"

"Do you think you can guess his size?" They thought about it. Hikaru drummed on the chair Tamaki was in with his fingers, while Kaoru rubbed his finger on his chin. They started talking on and off, Hikaru then Kaoru.

"He's wearing really baggy clothes, so it's hard to figure out his body type just by looking at him."

"And he's wearing a hoodie, so even if we looked at the size, hoodie sizes go over a wide variety of sizes."

"However, with his height-"

"And his shoulder length-"

"Plus his shoe size-"

"And his head-" They spoke together.

"We can figure out his size." Makoto came back out, holding the coffee.

"You guys are so annoying." He threw the coffee. "Here's your stupid coffee!" Hikaru caught it before it could hit a scared Tamaki's head.

"Hey, come with us." He looked confused and suspicious.

"Why?" Kaoru gave him a mischievous grin.

"Don't argue." They grabbed him before he could do anything. "Just come with us."

"Hey, let me go! You guys are crazy!" Tamaki was on the phone.

"Yes, I'd like you to come over. We've got a huge shaggy boy hair problem."

**In the Changing Room**

Hikaru held up a boy's uniform.

"Put it on right now." Kaoru nodded.

"I know you don't like it, but trust us, it'll look great!" Makoto got mad.

"I don't have a problem with it!" They looked confused.

"Huh?" Hikaru scratched his head.

"But you said earlier that you really hated the uniforms here." Kaoru nodded.

"Yeah, why the sudden-?" Suddenly, it hit them. Makoto looked mad and grabbed the uniform.

"Just get out now, okay?!" He shoved them out. Hikaru looked at Kaoru.

"Did that really?"

"Just happen?"

"Again?"

**Later**

Makoto came out in the uniform.

"I don't understand why I'm wearing this one." Tamaki smiled, looking super impressed.

"Oh, you look so adorable as an Ouran Host! Too bad the club hours ended while you were changing!" Makoto glared at him.

"And why is that?!" He struck a dramatic pose with his fingers on his forehead.

"Because, with the way you seem to charm the ladies with your curiosity and foreign air, you'd be a perfect Host! My hair stylist is on his way, and he's gonna cut all your hair off, well, not all of it, but it certainly won't be so long anymore." That made him blow his last gasket.

"THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M GOING TO BE A HOST! ARE YOU SO DENSE AND STUPID THAT YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT AT THIS POINT?! I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE STUPID ENOUGH TO NOT HAVE REALIZED IT YET!" Tamaki looked scared, but confused as well.

"Figured out what?" Makoto angrily held out a student ID.

"I'M A FREAKING GIRL!" He was in complete shock.

"WHAT?!" There was a big red arrow pointing directly at the character that indicated female. Kyoya nodded, writing things down in his book. He had figured it out from the beginning.

"It says on Makoto's student record that he is, in fact, a she." Everyone else nodded, having figured it out along the way. Honey smiled.

"It was obvious." Hikaru and Kaoru smiled deviously.

"You've just gotta be able to look at the big picture." Haruhi nodded.

"Looks like you did the same thing again senpai." Tamaki started babbling.

"But, but, but then why did you chastise Haruhi for acting like a boy when you've been doing the exact same thing?!" Makoto looked really mad.

"I've tried to tell you guys several times, but you guys kept cutting me off! And there's no way that I would agree to flirting with girls! I support people like that, but I'm not one of them, and I'm not going to lie to the entire school! I'll convince my aunt to pay you guys back somehow!" Kyoya's glasses glinted as he pushed them up.

"Unfortunately, that won't be the case. From what I understand about your situation, your uncle isn't very fond of you, and neither is the rest of his family. While your aunt has some assets of her own, they won't be nearly enough to repay what you owe us, and you know your uncle won't pay it off." She frowned, looking down at the ground in defeat. "Besides, if you work as a Host, you can pay it off faster. One way to go is to be the Host Club dog until graduation, or the rest of this year and all of next year for you. The other option is being a Host, with a quota of guests. Since you broke about 27 Million Yen's worth of antiques, lets set your quota at 500 guests, and that's including arranging your family to come up here." Makoto's eye witched.

"You guys are a pain in the neck, you know that?" Kyoya smiled.

"Alright then. A Host you'll be." Makoto waved her hand in the air.

"Whatever. I need to get back to my aunt's. If club hours are over, then I need a good night's rest." She started walking out the door, but Kyoya called out to her.

"I only have one question. What's your real name?" Her eyes widened. She turned around and looked at him. He was still writing in his book.

"What do you mean? My name is Makoto Kiyono." He nodded.

"Yes, as of two weeks ago, this is true. But, before that, you had a different name. Those records I could not find. They were sealed away by the US government during the adoption process. You obviously don't like the name Makoto, so what's your real name?" She smiled, realizing something. Then, her smiled turned into a smirk.

"I'll tell you if you can earn my trust." She walked out. Kyoya smiled.

"I thought just as much." Haruhi looked confused.

"Kyoya, what exactly is going on with her?" He looked up from his book and at the door.

"It's a complicated situation, and I really don't have the time to explain. However, I think everything will be made clear in time."

**Song Of Hope: I think it's obvious to some people what Makoto's real name is, but I'm gonna be having a lot of fun with the people who don't know. R&R**


End file.
